And now, an exclusive preview of my latest work – Stab 2: The Stabbening.
(Content warning: This story includes depictions of violence, as well as some sexuality. Viewer discretion is advised.)
“Steel, come back to bed,” Steel’s harem purred provocatively.
“Sorry, ladies.” Steel strode away from the covers, never looking back. He sheathed on his three swords, seventeen knives, and his kvala’tetch, which is a foreign weapon that is like a sword but cooler. “Duty calls. Duty and blood.”
Steel had a mission, and he wouldn’t abandon that, even if it would have been easy. There was no one else that could hope to defeat the Ultimate Demon God Emperor, after all. Even Steel’s best friend slash rival, the Blackstone Assassin, had already been defeated and begged for Steel to help.
“Please, help,” the Blackstone Assassin had begged. He had been on his knees at the time. “Even I, the Blackstone Assassin, cannot hope to defeat the Ultimate Demon God Emperor. Even though I am famous, I am actually much weaker than you are.”
“I know,” Steel replied knowingly, knowing that he was superior in combat and battle.
“Mrrr,” Aayara purred, because she was also there, and much like Steel’s harem she liked talking in a way that sounded like purring. “I like strong men. Maybe if you win this fight, I could give you a proper reward.”
“Hmpf. Bold of you to think you’d be worth my effort, Aayara.” Steel laughed haughtily. Maybe he would deign to add the Lady of Thieves to his harem later, but right now, he had bigger concerns.
The final battle was calling, and only he — Steel — could answer.
Steel was a master of all forms of assassination techniques, but he didn’t need them now.
“Are you going to sneak in?” Waifu asked him, posing in a way that showed off all of her angles, curves, and radians.
“Hmpf,” Steel scoffed. “Like I need to resort to that like some amateur.” He drew two of his swords, Frostreaper and Deathmaul. He knew how to wield more than two swords at once, but he didn’t need to for this part.
“Oh, forgive me. You’re so much better at this than me, and also everyone else.” Waifu looked at him with wide eyes. “Just promise you’ll come back to me safely?”
“Of course. If there’s one thing I’ll never fail at, that’s coming back to you.”
Waifu swooned at his romanticness and attractiveness.
Steel headed to the Ultimate Demon God Emperor’s fortress. The rest of the harem would take care of Waifu later.
Steel used his Stab-Running Technique to run faster than normal running, quickly arriving at the fortress of the Ultimate Demon God Emperor.
There were many demons outside. Steel stabbed them. They exploded.
“Hmpf,” Steel said. “Not even worth my time.”
Then he stabbed the front door of the castle, which also exploded. Then he stab-ran inside.
I hope you’ve all enjoyed this preview of my upcoming sure-to-be-bestseller work, Stab 2. Stay tuned for more news on this and the rest of my upcoming Stab-related books, merchandise, etc.
EDIT: This was an April Fools joke. Thanks to everyone for reading regardless. Real book updates coming soonish. =D